Fake gearshift in electric cars: The vegan sausage of mobility

A rollmops doesn't have wheels. You don't need charcoal for a radiator grille. A fender can't fly. And most electric cars don't have a gearshift. There are understandable reasons for all of this. The rollmops isn't a dog on wheels, but a rolled-up herring rag. Radiator grilles aren't meant for grilling; on the contrary, they're meant to cool the engine. The fender, a flightless protective plate, is linguistically a relic from the days of horse-drawn carriages. And electric cars don't have manual transmissions; they accelerate continuously.
Hardly anyone would come up with the absurd idea of screwing wheels onto a pug to give it a better feel or even a better understanding of the wheel. No one has ever missed a fog machine for the fog lights or a propeller drive for the fender. But the US company Ford has now patented a gearshift lever for electric cars – even though this element isn't actually needed for electric propulsion.

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The patent, titled " Shifter Assembly For Electric Vehicle," shows an old-school gearshift lever mounted in a housing. According to a well-worn joke, in a car with an internal combustion engine and manual transmission, the gearshift lever is used to stir the gasoline—but in reality, it is used to control different transmission ratios via sliding sleeves and gears. Electric vehicles have a completely different drivetrain. The motors accelerate continuously and are mounted directly on the axles, which is much more efficient and less prone to wear. But many drivers miss something—the feeling of being at the helm of automotive power, perhaps.
That's why the fake gearshift simulates noticeable resistance by activating electronic controls. The engine's power can be adjusted using the electronic stick, and the gearshifts of a conventional transmission are mimicked by sensors. Artificial engine noises are already required for electric cars according to an EU regulation. Following the vegan sausage principle, the auto industry could, in addition to the fake gearshift, also patent the decorative exhaust, including fake exhaust clouds, in the future. It will also be interesting to see whether sound modules will be developed that simulate misfires. How about starting cranks like those on an old Land Rover, to fire up the electric motor using muscle power? And what about fake spark plugs, fake oil hoses, and fake cylinder head gaskets? Ideally with built-in defects for that authentic feeling of despair.
Replacement products are supposed to give consumers a cozy retro feeling and remind them of the supposedly good old days. But were broken spark plugs, burst oil hoses, and grinding gearshifts really so great? Does electromobility really need a return to technically unnecessary, yet delightfully nostalgic elements of combustion engine technology ? If that were the case, the latest ICE series would really only need to be fitted with fake chimneys, coal wagons, and puffing noises, perhaps even a steam-powered signal horn to make passengers happier. Modern electric trains are slow enough to give you that good old steam locomotive feeling anyway.

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